I realized I routinely find people with trauma and that they tend to open up to me rather quickly. My own dire circumstances required that I quickly figure out how to not only handle but process those kinds of experiences, making it feel natural for me to share my experiences and what’s worked for me as someone who is often further along in the healing process. To that end, I started an informal support group out of my apartment around mid-September with a few friends.
All of the founding members had rough childhoods, which comes with a mess of mixed feelings and behaviors that were once protective but eventually became more isolating. While we were talking about what we needed as a group, I told them about how awkward it was the first time I had dinner with my honorary sister’s family, particularly since I didn’t really have any experience with that healthy of a dynamic.
We decided to include dinner as the start of our meetings, and we started calling it “fucked-up family dinner.” I usually finish making dinner as they head over, and we eat and catch-up about the previous week. After dinner, we would have tea and maybe sweets brought by other members as we switched to talking to more traditional support group type questions.
We’ve also talked about working to expand the group to a more formal thing. One of the other members and I have met with people that run other support groups, identified organizations we should let know once we are more of an official group, and discussed various needs we should consider—including whether or not a church would be the right setting. I currently have a small list of steps to take around school and work to make this more official, chief among them talking to businesses we hope may be willing to host or otherwise help out.
Brendan Moore 